220+ Rude Roasts To Say To Your "Ex Best Friend"

220+ Rude Roasts To Say To Your “Ex Best Friend”

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Let’s face it—losing a best friend can feel worse than a romantic breakup. You didn’t just lose someone to share memes with or vent about life over coffee—you lost a soul connection, someone who knew your weird habits and deepest secrets.

And when that friendship ends badly, it stings. Whether they ghosted you, betrayed you, or morphed into someone unrecognizable, there’s often no neat bow to wrap things up. So what do we do when we’re feeling burned and bitter? Some of us cry, some of us scream, and some of us—well, we roast.

Welcome to your sassy guide for the rudest roasts to throw at your ex best friend. You won’t just be venting—you’ll be doing it with style.

220+ Rude Roasts To Say To Your "Ex Best Friend"

220+ Rude Roasts To Say To Your “Ex Best Friend”

Betrayal Burns

  1. You didn’t just stab me in the back—you brought a whole knife set.
  2. Loyalty isn’t in your vocabulary, and neither is honesty.
  3. You broke the kind of trust that doesn’t come with a second chance.
  4. You really had me fooled—I thought you were a real one.
  5. Some people cut grass to spot snakes. I called you my best friend.
  6. You switched up faster than a fake designer bag on Instagram.
  7. It’s funny how you disappeared right when I needed a “best” friend.
  8. You didn’t lose a friend—you lost someone who would’ve gone to war for you.
  9. Karma’s just getting warmed up for you.
  10. I trusted you like family—turns out you were just a stranger with a familiar face.

Two-Faced Energy

  1. Your front and your backstory never match.
  2. You’ve got more faces than a Snapchat filter.
  3. You act sweet in public and rotten in private—pick a personality.
  4. You’d be elite at customer service—fake smiles, fake concern.
  5. It’s wild how you can pretend to care while secretly rooting for failure.
  6. I never knew being fake came so naturally to someone.
  7. You’re living proof that two-faced people can still look boring.
  8. I hope you get paid for all the acting you do.
  9. Your loyalty expires the second someone cooler walks in.
  10. You play both sides so well, you should coach a tennis team.

Snake Behavior

  1. I should’ve known you were a snake—hissing behind my back.
  2. You shed friends like skin.
  3. Cold-blooded fits you perfectly, inside and out.
  4. You slither through friendships and poison everything.
  5. You wouldn’t last one minute in a room full of real ones.
  6. You weren’t just a snake—you built the whole pit.
  7. You bite the hand that feeds you, then cry when you’re hungry.
  8. Snakes pretend to be silent, just like you before the betrayal.
  9. Every warning I ignored came true with you.
  10. You make venom look boring.

Clout Chaser Chronicles

  1. You used me like a stepping stone, then tripped over your ego.
  2. You were only ever down when the likes were up.
  3. All you cared about was the tag, never the friendship.
  4. You’d sell loyalty for a shoutout.
  5. If clout was currency, you’d still be broke.
  6. You’re not a friend, you’re a follower—with a hidden agenda.
  7. You didn’t want support—you wanted a spotlight.
  8. Your loyalty ended the second the attention did.
  9. You’re addicted to relevance, even if it costs people.
  10. You weren’t building a bond—you were building a brand.

Fake Loyalty Files

  1. You switched sides like your name was Netflix.
  2. Loyalty to you was just a word, not a habit.
  3. You only showed up when it was easy—not when it counted.
  4. You wore the title of “best friend” like a costume.
  5. You broke more promises than mirrors.
  6. You loved the attention, not the connection.
  7. Your support was seasonal—and expired fast.
  8. You waved the friendship flag but ran the minute the storm hit.
  9. Loyalty isn’t hard, but clearly, so are you.
  10. You gave “ride or die” energy… but forgot to stick around for the ride.

Copycat Shade

  1. I didn’t realize I was mentoring my replacement.
  2. You wanted to be me so badly, you forgot to be real.
  3. You copied my vibe, but missed the substance.
  4. You’re like a low-resolution version of me.
  5. I was the blueprint—you just smudged it.
  6. Flattery turns to creepiness when you steal someone’s whole identity.
  7. Being inspired is cute—being a clone is sad.
  8. You can borrow the style, but you’ll never match the soul.
  9. You didn’t want to grow—you wanted to duplicate.
  10. You don’t even like you, that’s why you tried to become me.

Glow-Up Jealousy

  1. You clapped when I failed but choked when I leveled up.
  2. It wasn’t a friendship—it was a silent competition I didn’t know I was in.
  3. You rooted for me until I outgrew you.
  4. Jealousy looks ugly on you, but then again, so did loyalty.
  5. You hated me most when I was happiest.
  6. You wanted the old me because the new me didn’t need you.
  7. You weren’t intimidated—you were insecure.
  8. I glowed up, and you glowed away.
  9. My success turned your support into silence real quick.
  10. You couldn’t stand to see me win—and I couldn’t keep pretending you cared.

Drama Queen Disaster

  1. You created more scenes than a Netflix series.
  2. If you could calm down for five minutes, the world wouldn’t end.
  3. You live for chaos and then play the victim when it backfires.
  4. You weren’t a friend—you were a walking tantrum.
  5. The spotlight’s not love—it’s just your ego overheating.
  6. You turned every issue into a saga no one subscribed to.
  7. You cause drama like it’s a love language.
  8. You weren’t the main character—you were the main problem.
  9. Grow up, not just louder.
  10. You left peace the moment you entered the room.

“Victim” of the Year

  1. You hurt people, then cry louder than them when they react.
  2. You start fires, then act shocked when it gets hot.
  3. Somehow, you’re always the victim—even when you’re holding the knife.
  4. If playing the victim was a job, you’d be CEO by now.
  5. You rewrite history better than a Netflix docuseries.
  6. You mess things up and then gaslight your way into pity.
  7. You act like people betrayed you, but all you ever did was manipulate them.
  8. You never take accountability—you just take center stage.
  9. Everyone’s the villain in your story, but you’re the one writing it.
  10. You’re not misunderstood—you’re just finally being seen for who you are.

Selfish Squad

  1. You only showed up when it benefitted you.
  2. “Best friend” to you meant “free therapist.”
  3. You took, took, and took—until there was nothing left to give.
  4. You only cared when it was convenient.
  5. If someone’s not clapping for you, you don’t show up.
  6. You treat friendship like a subscription service—cancel anytime.
  7. Everything had to be about you—or else it didn’t matter.
  8. You wanted all the love and gave none back.
  9. Being there for others isn’t optional just because you’re tired.
  10. You don’t need friends—you need fans.

Trust Issues Starter Pack

  1. You were the reason I stopped oversharing.
  2. I gave you real, and you gave me reasons to never trust again.
  3. Thanks for the lesson—I needed to stop trusting snakes.
  4. You made secrets feel like ammunition.
  5. You treated my vulnerability like gossip content.
  6. I told you things I’d never tell anyone—and you made sure everyone knew.
  7. You broke trust like it owed you money.
  8. The only thing consistent with you was betrayal.
  9. You made me question the word “friend” entirely.
  10. Your loyalty expired faster than your fake concern.

Toxic Bestie Vibes

  1. You drained my energy and called it friendship.
  2. You weren’t supportive—you were possessive.
  3. Every conversation was a guilt trip in disguise.
  4. You competed with me instead of cheering for me.
  5. You loved me small so you could feel big.
  6. You were only kind when you were in control.
  7. You made me feel bad for growing.
  8. You didn’t love me—you loved having power over me.
  9. Every moment felt like emotional gymnastics.
  10. I left you, and suddenly I could breathe again.

Attention-Seeker Slaps

  1. You’d fake a crisis if it got you more likes.
  2. You talk louder when the room’s not looking at you.
  3. You treat drama like a career path.
  4. Validation shouldn’t be your personality.
  5. You don’t want friendship—you want an audience.
  6. You weren’t there to connect—you were there to perform.
  7. Everything had to be a spectacle with you.
  8. You turn minor issues into soap operas just to stay relevant.
  9. Your life isn’t content—but you wouldn’t know the difference.
  10. Your attention addiction makes real friendship impossible.

Low-Key Hater Energy

  1. You smiled at me while hoping I failed.
  2. You cheered with me but secretly choked on envy.
  3. You supported me just enough to say you did—never more.
  4. You watched my moves, not to learn, but to judge.
  5. You couldn’t stand my glow, so you threw shade in silence.
  6. Every compliment from you had a backhand to it.
  7. You weren’t rooting for me—you were competing silently.
  8. You celebrated my setbacks louder than my wins.
  9. You smiled in photos but hated every second behind the scenes.
  10. Your “friendship” was just disguised envy.

Petty Professional

  1. You hold grudges like trophies.
  2. You can’t move on—you’re too busy plotting.
  3. Your pettiness could qualify for the Olympics.
  4. You never forget small things—because you love turning them into drama.
  5. You started fights over things most people laugh at.
  6. You created tension just to feel important.
  7. You’re not slick—you’re just petty with WiFi.
  8. You take revenge like it’s a hobby.
  9. You turn misunderstandings into full-blown cold wars.
  10. You’d rather be right than be real.

Lie Detector Fails

  1. Your truth changes depending on who’s in the room.
  2. You lie so naturally it’s basically your first language.
  3. I lost count of the stories you twisted.
  4. You never told the full story—just the one that made you look good.
  5. You lie and then cry when you’re caught—classic.
  6. You don’t bend the truth—you break it and remodel it.
  7. Every time you spoke, I wondered what version I was getting.
  8. You couldn’t keep a story straight if your life depended on it.
  9. You lied to protect yourself, not to help anyone else.
  10. The only consistent thing about you was dishonesty.

Dead Weight Drags

  1. You weren’t a friend—you were a constant setback.
  2. I wasn’t growing because I was too busy carrying you.
  3. You didn’t walk with me—you held me back.
  4. Every time I moved forward, you gave me a reason to hesitate.
  5. You called it friendship—I called it emotional labor.
  6. You needed saving, but made sure I drowned too.
  7. You didn’t support me; you slowed me down.
  8. I was loyal to someone who never wanted to evolve.
  9. The only thing heavy about our friendship was your energy.
  10. I wasn’t losing a friend—I was losing dead weight.

Ghost Friend Files

  1. You disappeared faster than your promises.
  2. You went MIA the second I needed something real.
  3. You were only present when it was fun—not when it mattered.
  4. You ghosted loyalty, too.
  5. If silence could speak, it would sound like you.
  6. You vanished like we never shared a thing—cold.
  7. You always had WiFi, just not the guts to reply.
  8. You turned distance into a personality.
  9. Real friends show up—you disappeared.
  10. You weren’t busy, just uninterested in being real.

“All About Me” Club

  1. You treated every conversation like a monologue.
  2. You didn’t need a friend—you needed a mirror.
  3. I was just background noise in your self-centered playlist.
  4. You asked how I was, just to talk about yourself next.
  5. You loved hearing yourself talk—too bad you never listened.
  6. My problems bored you unless they affected you directly.
  7. You drained the room with your “main character” complex.
  8. You wanted a fan club, not a friendship.
  9. If it wasn’t about you, it didn’t exist.
  10. You didn’t lose me—I just stopped orbiting your ego.

Emotionally Expired

  1. You peaked in manipulation and crashed in growth.
  2. You never healed—you just blamed louder.
  3. You acted like emotions were weapons, not feelings.
  4. I grew, you stayed bitter.
  5. You outgrew maturity before you even tried it.
  6. You brought high school drama into adult spaces.
  7. You weren’t deep—you were just messy.
  8. Emotional intelligence? You skipped that lesson.
  9. You didn’t evolve—you recycled old excuses.
  10. I couldn’t stay stuck to someone emotionally outdated.

Wannabe You Wreckage

  1. You didn’t admire me—you envied me.
  2. You wanted my life without doing the work.
  3. You copied the look, but never understood the meaning.
  4. You mirrored my moves and called it personality.
  5. You tried to be me—but ended up embarrassing both of us.
  6. I was the reference—you were the cheap knockoff.
  7. You imitated, but could never create.
  8. You wanted my wins, not my struggle.
  9. You wanted to be me until you realized it took effort.
  10. You didn’t lose a friend—you lost your source.

Friendship Refund Zone

  1. I want a refund on all the time I wasted believing in you.
  2. You were overpriced with zero value.
  3. You came with fine print and hidden fees.
  4. You sold loyalty and delivered drama.
  5. The return policy should’ve included cutting you off sooner.
  6. You weren’t worth the emotional investment.
  7. I gave you real love and got fake friendship in return.
  8. You were all packaging and no product.
  9. Our friendship came broken—and never worked right.
  10. I should’ve kept the receipt on this mess.

What Is an “Ex Best Friend”?

An “ex best friend” isn’t just someone you drifted apart from. It’s a deeper cut. It’s the friend who swore they’d always be there—and then dipped when things got real.

Here’s the thing: an ex is someone you dated. An ex best friend is someone you trusted with your soul. That difference? It makes the breakup sharper, colder, and a whole lot more personal.

Some people fade away, others blow up the bridge as they go. Either way, you’re left standing in the rubble.

Should You Roast Your Ex Best Friend?

You might be wondering, “Is roasting them even worth it?” Fair question. Roasting someone isn’t just about being rude for kicks—it can actually be a form of release.

  • The Cathartic Power of Words

There’s power in finally saying the things you were too shocked or hurt to say before. A good roast lets you reclaim your voice. It’s like emotional exfoliation—you scrub away the dead energy and come out glowing (and slightly petty, but that’s okay).

  • When Roasting Is Healthy vs. Petty

If your goal is just to make them cry or get revenge, you’re still emotionally stuck. But if the roast is more for you—your laugh, your closure, your comeback story? Then it’s healing.

Think of it this way: a healthy roast is like seasoning—sharp, spicy, and best enjoyed in moderation. A petty roast is just dumping the whole jar of salt and expecting it to taste good.

How to Use Roasts Responsibly

  • Intent Matters

Before you drop that savage line, ask yourself: Why am I doing this? If it’s just to hurt them, pause. If it’s to finally say something you’ve been holding in? That’s your green light.

  • Roast for Closure, Not Cruelty

A roast should feel like a mic drop, not a messy fight. Make your point, take your peace, and walk away like the legend you are.

Savage and Rude Roasts for Your Ex Best Friend

Alright, let’s get to the juicy part. Here are some spicy, sizzling roasts that’ll have your ex best friend feeling the burn—or at least wondering if you hired a comedy writer.

Short and Savage Zingers

These one-liners are perfect when you don’t want to say much but want it to hurt a lot:

  • “You’re like a bad Wi-Fi connection—there when I needed you least.”
  • “I didn’t lose a friend. I just removed a virus.”
  • “You were always a limited edition—thank God.”
  • “You changed like seasons. Cold, distant, and forgettable.”
  • “Being your friend felt like a full-time job—with no benefits.”

Creative and Sarcastic Burns

When you want to sound clever and cutting at the same time:

  • “You really are a piece of work… mostly unfinished and totally unappreciated.”
  • “You always said you were real—but I didn’t realize it was real fake.”
  • “You deserve an award for best supporting betrayal.”
  • “I thought you were the plot twist. Turns out, you were just a filler episode.”
  • “You really taught me something: what a waste of trust looks like.”

Petty But Hilarious Clapbacks

Sometimes, you just want to go full petty princess/prince. Here’s your toolkit:

  • “Even your shadow left you. That says a lot.”
  • “You must be a GPS because you always took me the wrong way.”
  • “You’re the human version of a typo.”
  • “Our friendship was like your Wi-Fi password—impossible to remember and never worked.”

Rude Roasts Based on Betrayal Types

Let’s get surgical. Not all betrayal is the same, so here are roasts tailored to specific types of fake friends.

For the Liar

If your ex best friend couldn’t tell the truth even if their phone battery depended on it:

  • “You lied so much, even Google can’t verify you.”
  • “Your truth is like a TikTok trend—changes every week.”
  • “You deserve a Netflix series: Lies, Lies, and More Lies.”

For the Backstabber

Ah yes, the traitor disguised as a confidant.

  • “You’re the reason snakes are misunderstood.”
  • “Thanks for teaching me that betrayal comes from behind… usually holding a Starbucks cup and fake concern.”
  • “You were great at pretending. Hollywood’s missing out.”

For the Attention Seeker

Always loud, always dramatic—basically a walking reality show:

  • “You wanted the spotlight so bad, you lit your own bridges on fire.”
  • “You’re not misunderstood, you’re just loud and wrong.”
  • “If drama were currency, you’d be a billionaire.”

For the User

The friend who only called when they needed something? Here’s their roast.

  • “You didn’t need a best friend—you needed a subscription service.”
  • “I was your emotional ATM. I’m overdrawn now.”
  • “You used me like a free trial. Cancelled with no explanation.”

Roasts That Work Best Over Text

Let’s be real: some roasts hit harder when sent via message (with the block button ready).

Digital Drama Made Simple

Send, screenshot, and sip your tea.

  • “This friendship has been archived. Don’t bother restoring.”
  • “Here’s a download link to all the fake things you said. Spoiler: it’s corrupted.”
  • “You should’ve come with a user manual—and a warning label.”

Emojis That Add Extra Sass

Pair your text with these:

  • 🤡 = when they played themselves
  • 🧼 = because they’re messy
  • 🗑️ = where the friendship ended up
  • 📉 = their loyalty graph

When You Shouldn’t Roast Them

There’s power in choosing peace, too. If your ex best friend is:

  • Manipulative
  • Violent
  • Still in your circle (and causing drama)

…roasting them might just pull you deeper into the mess. Sometimes the most savage roast is radio silence.

Turning Roasts Into Closure

Here’s the thing: you don’t need them to read or hear your roast. You just need to say it—to yourself, to a journal, to your mirror, to your group chat.

Closure isn’t always a conversation. Sometimes it’s a punchline, a sigh of relief, and a fierce hair flip.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, not every friendship is meant to last forever—and sometimes, all that’s left to do is throw a little shade and move on with your head held high. These 220+ rude roasts give you the perfect ammo to express how you really feel when words left unsaid just won’t cut it. Whether you’re looking to drop a truth bomb or just need a good laugh, always remember: the best clapbacks are the ones that help you heal. And if you’re looking for a slightly more civilized way to deal with loud-mouths, check out our post on 220+ Polite Ways To Say “You Talk Too Much” To Someone for those moments when you want to keep it classy while still getting your point across.

FAQs

Q. Can I send these roasts directly to my ex best friend?

Yes—but consider the consequences. It could reignite drama, or worse, make you look like you’re not over it. Sometimes writing it down for yourself is enough.

Q. What if roasting them makes me feel worse?

That’s your sign to shift from roasts to reflection. If humor doesn’t help, healing might come from talking it out or journaling.

Q. Are funny roasts less hurtful?

Sometimes, yes. They sting less because they’re wrapped in humor. But don’t mistake sarcasm for softness—they can still cut deep.

Q. How can I roast someone without seeming bitter?

Add wit, charm, and a little self-awareness. If you can laugh at the situation and them, you come out on top.

5. Can humor really help me heal from a broken friendship?

Absolutely. Humor lightens the emotional weight. When you laugh at what hurt you, you take the power back.

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